Confront Your True Self (Tao Te Ching 33)
33
Discover what makes others tick
and you’ll be people smart.
Understand your true self
and you’ll be enlightened.
To confront others is gutsy.
To confront your true self is heroic.
Appreciate what you have
right in front of you
and you’ll realize
your abundance.
Pursue your true calling
and you’ll be unstoppable.
Maintain your integrity
and you won’t lose heart.
Your legacy of love
will endure forever.
Everything else will
turn to ashes.
Written Reflection
People want “Power” and this chapter shows they’ll get it, though it isn’t the kind of power they might have been expecting. The Tao Te Ching isn’t directly a book on how to succeed in business, though it can indeed ultimately help there. It’s a book about understanding human nature, and this can be helpful in many areas of life.
The word we render enlightenment is míng (明) and connotes something or someone “brilliant,” “radiant” and “illumined.” It is composed of the radicals for sun and moon. It is always clear sighted but includes elements of both yin and yang. Balanced and calibrated sight and insight is what brings true and useful power.
Perhaps a practical example will help illustrate this. Consider poker theory. When it comes to serious money games, many observers mistakenly assume what motivates players is greed, the love of money. We’ve both played a bit in the casinos, since Stacie’s folks live just outside Laughlin, Nevada. The poker game in that little gambling town has petered out a bit. But in the old days we used to enjoy taking a nap at 7 PM and waking up around midnight, once the booze started to affect some of the amateur players who came with money (the players who are there to make money lay off the hooch).
In scenes like this, to assume that everyone is there for money is foolish. There are semi-pros and pros who are there for money, but they know they have to work the long game. Therefore, when they make a move, it is likely that they are playing their (good) cards or they are playing you. It’s best to keep an eye on those players. Then, there are folks who are letting off steam, getting buzzed, and make big bets because they’re out for a wild night. Sure, when they push out a big bet, they may have the goods. But they also might just be there for the roller coaster ride. With a good hand, they are worth engaging. Other players are sober but want to get intoxicated by the thrill of losing and winning big. They don’t need a pile of chips at the end, but they don’t have the patience to while away their time with small pots. Even though these folks may be hard to read, with a good hand, one might be wise to take a chance at a pot, even when these daredevils go all in. Finally, there are players who want to bully you. They don’t care if they win in the end, but they want to make you back down. As scary as these folks may be emotionally, they are often the best folks to engage with a decent hand. With a decent hand, let them try to bluff you off a good hand and then re-raise.
The point here is that insight brings power. Understanding one’s own motivations and the motivations of others is essential to a winning night. For a flourishing life, likewise, Lao Tzu’s chapter here resonates with Socrates’ call to know thyself. That is, self-awareness brings self-mastery.
Know yourself and you’ll have an easier time with self-control.
Are you struggling with addiction? Don’t focus on the craving. Focus on the reason for the craving. Is your marriage in disarray, focus on what’s going on in your hearts rather than the petty issue over which you find yourselves quarreling? Know what your true goals are and you will be able to be clear on your forward path, whatever comes your way.
The love you pour out to the world, and the love you pour into others will endure forever. Everything else will get burned up, which is what hell looks like. Gehennais a word used for hell in first century Judaism and also Christianity. It was a pit for burning trash. You aren’t the trash, though you may be spending too much time accumulating trash that is destined for destruction. This isn’t about caring what people think or about saving everything for an inheritance that people will waste. It’s about investing in something that matters for generations rather than ephemeral amusements.
Again, love is that enduring legacy. The secret joy of surfing the Tao is that you actually can live richly in the now, and if you do this in accordance with the Tao, you will be loved after you’re gone. And even if no one remembers your name 50 years from now, the ripples of love will go on forever, like light from a star that imploded two hundred thousand years ago but now is a beautiful light show in the night sky.